im a hypocrite, a fucking hypocrite.

i lack the courage to say so many things. i can’t tell people how i’m feeling. i tell people to be happy. i give generic answers to serious questions. i can’t speak up, i won’t speak out. i’m a coward. i have so many thoughts buzzing around in my head, but i’m too afraid to voice them because people always take them and throw them in my face. some of the things i want to say may be obvious but if i’m not allowed to just say it i won’t know for sure that people understand. i won’t be able to believe what i’m feeling. i just want to be understood without being ridiculed. sarcasm and sardonic comments will only bring misunderstanding and uncomfortable situations. people died so others would be able to live and not be judged by their appearance, they died so people would be heard, but am i heard if nobody wants to listen?